The journey to self-confidence took some time. I had to reconnect with myself and learn about who I was authentically. Over the years I slowly became unaligned with my authentic self. Small daily actions that were not aligned with my values over years at a time lead me to one day waking up and not even recognizing who I was. I went on a journey to finding out who I was again, and I came across four different areas that needed my attention.
What Do I Value
The first thing I did was figure out what I valued in life. I had to get back to my foundation. I looked back into my childhood, I took myself on dates, I hired a life coach and I started to rediscover what lights me up. I started to remember what I felt strongly about. Once I rediscovered what my values were I was able to see where in my life I was taking action that was not in alignment to my values.
Learning How To Have Self-Respect
Once I knew my values it was time to start treating myself with respect. During this period I really learned what self-care was. I started to figure out what actions were in alignment with my values, and then started to implement them into my life. Sometimes self care is doing something hard. I was used to living my life off of other people’s rules or “shoulds.” I started to question every time I told myself I should do something. Where did this should come from, is it in alignment with my values. I had to learn how to be an adult, and form my own set of rules for my life. I started to follow through on my values and my own set of rules. The more action I took from this aligned place the more confident I felt in who I was.
From Self Respect To Self Trust
When I started to respect myself and take actions that supported me I was able to trust myself again. Trust came naturally after respect. I was able to start believing in myself. I was able to start taking bigger and bigger action towards my goals. I was able to trust myself enough to go after those big scary goals I had hidden for so many years. The more aligned action I took the more trust I built.
Learning How To Love Myself
By this point I knew how to respect myself, trust myself. I was taking aligned actions in my life and I started to actually love myself again. Do you remember the last time you loved yourself? This was an important step because once I was able to start to love myself I knew I could have my own back in my life. This is where my confidence came from. This foundation I built over time that instead of breaking myself down, I was building myself up.
Confidence is when you can have your own back as you go through life. I needed these four foundations to build my confidence on. I needed to know who I was and love who I was to be able to have my own back. Confidence is an amazing gift that came whenever I was able to really learn who I was authentically and start letting myself be her.