After five, ten, and 20 years of marriage, your opinions and interests can become eerily similar to your partners. If your marriage ends in divorce, the idea of rediscovering your own thoughts, hobbies, and passions, in addition to rebuilding your life can feel rather daunting. But we think it’s incredibly empowering. You’ve made the brave decision to leave a relationship that was not making you happy and right now is the perfect time to get back in touch with who you are as a woman.
Getting a divorce can be extremely taxing on your mental health and well-being, which is why grieving the end of that relationship is the first step. Once you’ve been able to emotionally come to terms with the divorce, there are a ton of things you can do to rediscover your self-identity and build a fulfilling life on your own.
Reconnect with your own friends
And not your ex-partner’s friends! It’s incredibly important that you have supportive, empathic, and understanding friends in your corner when you’re going through a divorce. Now that you’re riding solo, you will have much more time to spend with your own friends. Even if you’ve drifted apart over the past few years, the right friends will be understanding of the situation and eager to have you back in their lives.
Prioritize some “me” time
Depending on your hobbies and interests, “me” time looks different for everyone. If you’re feeling burnt out from an unhappy marriage followed by endless divorce paperwork, a getaway or staycation is just what you need. Some alone time can be really refreshing, especially if it’s spent relaxing on the beach with a frozen margarita in-hand. Getting a divorce should never feel like the end of your story and a self-care trip will help you write a new beginning.
Rediscover your inner child
Remember how much fun you used to have dancing in your bedroom or going to the outdoor pool with your friends? When you’re navigating an emotionally challenging time, like a divorce, try to set some time aside to do those things that would fill you with happiness and joy. By tapping into your inner child, you’ll be able to awaken your dreams and find a renewed sense of hope for the future.
Create new habits
If you were married for 20 years, there’s a good chance that you got stuck in a predictable routine. After divorce, it’s crucial to create a new routine and habits that will encourage personal growth and self-worth. If you always wanted to sign up for pottery classes but your ex-husband never wanted to join you, now is your chance. New habits could also include signing up for a healthy meal prep service, going to the gym three times a week, or meeting a friend for a hike every Sunday. Doing these things will reinforce your confidence and improve your mental health.
When you’re married, it’s common to put the well-being of your spouse over your own happiness. If there is ever a time to be selfish in life, it’s following a divorce. Go get the haircut your ex-spouse never approved of, build yourself a new capsule wardrobe, or get that tattoo you’ve been dreaming about for the last ten years. You are the priority now!