Repairing The Broken Heart

Life After Trauma

By Mira Cassidy

Many daughters look up to and admire their mother. When they are little, they play games and pretend to be just like mom. However, some daughters feel that all their lives they have sat in the background only watching their mother thrive. This may be the emotion shared by daughters of celebrities, congresswomen, judges, attorneys, doctors, executives, and business owners.

It can be difficult to constantly desire to reach or surpass a mother’s accomplishments. To achieve this, some put forth extra effort in their studies, become involved in several extracurricular activities, or seek higher education at the same Ivy League School.

At times pressure may arise in nonacademic ways. A daughter may feel inferior compared to her mother in crafts, cooking, baking, and gardening. No matter the reason, it hurts to feel like you are stuck in your mother’s shadow.

Consider the findings of Children of Famous Parents: An Exploratory Study by Surabhika Maheshwari. “Being the  child of the famous can be especially hard, in part because of the danger that the child cannot live up to the parent’s public success, and only a modest success seems a drastic falling off…Whether following their parents’ footsteps or diverging into their own paths they carry with them the legacy of their parents’ name. The children are unable to step out of it. And they have to do their bit in the maintenance of the public image and the aura. This could either be understood as a shadow or too bright light where it becomes difficult to see oneself. The sense of self and identity become pressing concerns.”

Good News! There is no need to measure up. Healthy, loving mothers primarily long for their daughters to simply be happy, healthy, put forth their best effort, and pursue things in life that bring them satisfaction. Furthermore, out of love, a mother will guide her daughter by offering suggestions that at times can be hard to accept.

Daughters need to keep in mind that they are not a carbon copy of their mother. They will have their own interest, their own friends, and their own wants. The best gift a daughter can give her mother is good behavior, respect for her authority, and a willingness to do her best.    

Mira Cassidy

Author, Journalist, and Motivational Speaker

Girls L.E.A.P Relationship Coach

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