Healing Your Past, Reaching for the Future
By: Patricia Yiu
I got you, sister.
The pain, the shame, the blame of living with all the unspoken feelings of being molested as a little girl.
You feel like it wasn’t fair, you feel like you can’t really talk about that with anyone else, you feel lonely and guilty at the same time.
You feel like it was your fault but, not really – he was the adult, shouldn’t he have known better?
Every time you think about it, your body contracts and the rage boils up inside of you.
But, since you’ve been taught to hide your feelings and smile, you put them in your Pandora box and, quickly, close the lid.
How do you move past that?
How do you forgive the unforgivable?
How do you stop feeling like a victim and start living from a place of compassion and acceptance with that horrid thing that happened to you?
I was nine years old when that happened.
It took me 35 years to forgive myself and everyone involved in it so I could reclaim parts of myself that got lost in the way and step into my purpose.
“Are you standing in your story or are you standing on your story?” – Lisa Nichols
Let me tell you, girl, it’s your choice to allow how much of that story defines you for the rest of your life.
I chose to write a new story for myself and here are my top 3 tips for you to take your power and your life back:
- You gotta open that Pandora Box
You can’t change what you can’t accept.
The beautiful process of putting your feelings into words and allowing all that trapped energy to flow on a blank page without judgment is truly where your healing begins.
Make it a ritual with candles, incense, some new-age music or mantra – whatever gets you in the zone for you to allow your emotions to flow.
Grab some pen and paper and write all the thoughts and feelings that you’ve been holding inside for so long.
Just write, letting your heart guide the way and allow all of those emotions to arise and be expressed – God only knows how long they’ve been suppressed.
- Burn it, baby, burn it
When you begin to understand that your thoughts and feelings are made of energy, you discover the incredible power that you have to choose to transform them and let them go.
After you have poured your heart out onto a piece of paper, burn it.
Setting all of that part of your past on fire with the intention to release it is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
I use a ceramic bowl with some sea salt and alcohol enough to get the fire started, with the intention of releasing all those feelings, I place the paper in the fire and watch the flames destroy it while breathing those emotions in and out of my body.
- Allow yourself to hate
As I was in the process of writing my story for my collaboration book, Woman Rise, I got to a point where I’ve allowed myself to hate my mother for not protecting me from my grandfather.
That was the most challenging part of my journey, as to how dare I could hate my mother when I am always supposed to love her.
I gotta tell you, with the same intensity that I was punching the pillows and screaming at the top of my lungs “I HATE YOU”, my inner voice was screaming as loud telling me: “how dare you could hate your mother when I am always supposed to love her.” Do it anyway. It’s just your old programming keeping you safe.
I knew that I could not move forward into forgiving myself, her and her father without this step.
Who do you need to hate in order to forgive and heal?
Give yourself permission to do that.
Even if you need to hate yourself for a while.
I hope my rising journey inspires you to retrieve all parts of yourself that got lost in your past so you can fall madly in love with everything that you already are and take one step forward into who you are becoming.
You are not broken.
There’s nothing to be fixed.
You might wanna change a thing or two but, there’s nothing to fix.
Do you know why?
Because you are already perfect, you just forgot about it.
You are already enough but, someone along the way made you believe the opposite.
You deserve to be, do and have anything your heart desires but, you just happen to believe the contrary.
There’s only ONE of you in this entire world, thinking, acting and feeling the way that you do so, why are you keeping yourself from shinning that beautiful light of yours and be the best expression of your TRUE self?
All you need is someone to guide you back to your true self, your true essence, changing the false beliefs that are no longer serving you and being there for you every step of the way to pick you up when you fall.
Let us know if you need any more information about one of our programs to support you in finding, loving and honoring yourself again.