By: Danielle Savory
Married “sex life” is assumed to get more blah and routine with time, but it doesn’t have to be this way at all. Here are 5 tips to help improve your married sex life so you can keep those toes curling for years and years.
- Schedule intimacy – no this won’t ruin anything and it is actually the opposite of boring. When you think about it, we have always been scheduling to hook up with our partners – through dates, meet-ups, vacation or special occasions. You can recreate that excitement and anticipation by putting it on the calendar and looking forward to the encounter as something different than your everyday interaction with one another.
- Talk – But Don’t Do – After you plan for when you will have a hot date or some sexy time then talk about it with your honey. Text one another about how excited you are or something you are specifically looking forward too. Help build up the anticipation by flirting with them and speaking into the plans. Snuggle and kiss and then whisper things like “I can’t wait for our hot date on Saturday” Let your person know you are thinking about it and can’t wait. Let the flirting and playfulness commence!
- Actively Think About Your Partner – This may sounds silly, but the brain is responsible for creating that anticipation and it is usually busy most of the day with so many thoughts. If you want to create more anticipation then you to learn to intentional create thoughts that make you feel more eager. When you begin dating someone they are so fresh and new the mind will naturally be obsessed with thinking of your person. As time goes on your attention is captivated by all the other things, like the news, your to-do list or things you maybe stressed or worried about. Pick a couple of times during the day to think about your partner in a positive and sensual way. What you love and appreciate about them. Get them BACK on your mind and help yourself create that loving feeling.
- Prioritize Your OWN Pleasure – Focusing on creating more of your own pleasure and desire will spill over into your marriage. When we are partnered with someone for a long time it is easy to see our own sexuality tied up exclusively with our lifelong mate. Coming back to yourself, the way you feel in your own body, tapping into your own sensuality just for you, will facilitate the flintiness in the partnership. Really feeling’ yourself can have the juiciest impact on your marriage.
- Get Out of Stress – Stress is the killer to any good sex life. When our bodies are stressed they tense up and create the opposite of fun sexy times. Actively work on getting out of the stress cycle, especially before connecting with your partner. That desire you are wanting won’t be there if you’re experiencing stress. Take the deep breaths, move your body, calm yourself down and THEN approach sex. You’ll be surprised how much more you actually want that connection when your body isn’t a ball of tension.
Meet Danielle Savory.
master coach to high-acheiving women ready to have better sex lives.
It’s easy to let the ambitions, the partner, the kids, the dog, and everything else take precedence over what you really want. Especially when sex isn’t about YOU, doesn’t fill you up, or leave you feeling more energized, but rather feels like a chore or obligation, something else to drain your day.
Women are taught early and often that our pleasure isn’t important, especially when it comes to sex and the consequences are real and lasting. From unsatisfying sex, to being afraid to ask for what you really want, to dimming your light and not showing up fully in your power as a woman who has her own needs and desires. Read more >>