Repairing The Broken Heart

Life After Trauma

By Mira Cassidy

Hey Girl! There is a very important exercise that you need to learn asap. Let’s call it more specifically a skill, or a craft. You must learn the art of shrugging your shoulders.

Yes! Shrug your shoulders. Life after trauma is not problem free. It can seem as if you’re trading one set of issues for another. Perhaps you’ve ended a toxic relationship, cut off harmful ties, or quit a job that was draining you daily mentally, emotionally and physically. At times the next thing to come is a backlash. You ex claims he never did anything wrong and admits no fault. Your friend that you thought would always be your friend, is now telling and twisting the confident talks you’ve shared. Your ex-boss or co-workers start a smear campaign when you were the glue that held the team together and gave it your all each day.

When people start to chatter in a negative way, just shrug your shoulders. You can’t control what people say, but you can choose how you react. Trying to defend yourself may be futile or can make matters worse. However, you can choose to let it go, toughen up your skin, and keep it moving. You are learning from your mistakes and pulling your life together. The last thing you need to deal with is what people say or think of you. Shrug your shoulders. It is, what it is. Like the words of Doris Day, “Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be.”

Healing time is critical. You’re likely to be very vulnerable. If you are not careful, you can find yourself living without boundaries or accepting anything because you don’t want people to say bad things about you. It’s not worth it. Protect yourself.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”- Laozi. Surviving trauma can break down even a mighty man’s self-image. Learn to be resilient to hurtful people.   

Even when the things said cut you to your core, still shrug your shoulders. In time the torment gets easier to bare and shrugging your shoulders becomes a natural way of life. This doesn’t need to involve turning your nose up while snarling. It’s a nice and smooth gesture that just means, “I’m going to live, I’m going to move forward, I won’t be broken.” Even if that’s not how you feel at this moment, do it! You’re conditioning and training yourself, and it will be beneficial in the long run. Ergo, when life is coming at you with madness, or people are bringing mayhem into your life, shrug your shoulders, and mean it!  

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