Repairing The Broken Heart

Life After Trauma

By Mira Cassidy

Times are temporarily chaotic! With social distancing, city lockdowns and quarantines in affect, many are feeling a new sting or one that was once properly managed, loneliness. People need people. In times that feel uncertain, it’s easier for insecurities to surface. If extra time alone is not spent in a productive way, the loneliness felt can be unbearable.

Big decisions should not be made when you are in crisis mode. Feeling lonely and vulnerable can cause you to make poor decision after poor decision. It is like driving early in the morning on a very foggy day. Your vision is limited, and you must strain to find the correct street. If you are not extra careful, you’ll hit the curb or choose the wrong road.

One of the hardest relationships to end is one with a toxic person. In a healthy relationship, breaking up is difficult, however, both parties have the ability to depart in a civil manner. Toxic love is much different.

Ending a toxic relationship can put your safety at risk. Toxic love is addictive. Like an illegal substance, when you get to the point of being fed up and done, your body and mind turn against you, causing cravings for the drug of choice. Intense withdrawal can feel as powerful as labor pains making you yearn for something bad. Once you’ve found a way to conquer your addiction and got away, Stay Away!

Though it’s not easy, the alternative is worse. Chances are slim that a toxic ex understands the error in his ways, admits them, changed his ways, and found the right support system that will continue to hold him accountable.

We are in the middle of trying times. Don’t be fooled, better times are ahead. The next few weeks and months will be a challenge and adjusting will be difficult, yet, don’t pick up the phone. Questions may pop in your head and suddenly you feel like it’s okay to call and say hi or just gain closer. Opening any door of communication can cause a manipulated ex to weasel back in, only to start the same destructive behaviors all over again. Mind games, name calling, or worse.

What if he calls you or text you first? Don’t respond. The idea is to get you engaged and then hooked. Now is a good time to do something different. Find a new hobby or call a loyal friend. Even when bad things happen, keep making the right choices. Don’t call him! Put the phone down.         

Mira Cassidy is an Author, Journalist, and Motivational Speaker

Speaking Topics include:

Breaking Free from Interpersonal Abuse, Overcoming Adverse Childhood Experience

Breaking Toxic Cycles, Maintaining Health and Wellness

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