Have you ever blocked your own success because you feel as if you don’t deserve it? This is known as self-sabotaging and is a common behavior that can end up hindering your personal and professional life. Self-sabotaging can be an intentional action or inaction that keeps you from accomplishing something. For example, consistently procrastinating a certain task that you know you need to do is a form of self-sabotage.
These sorts of actions or inactions can also occur in your personal life, for example, have you ever ended a relationship with a great person just because you felt like it was “too good to be true” or that you didn’t deserve it?
If these behaviors seem familiar, it’s crucial that you address them as they are limiting your personal happiness and success. Thankfully, it’s possible to remove these patterns of self-doubt, fear of failure, and limiting beliefs that are blocking you from achieving your personal and professional goals.
Tips for identifying and overcoming self-sabotaging behaviors
Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts
Getting stuck in negative thought patterns will contribute to self-sabotaging. Every time a negative thought goes through your head, like “I am not smart enough to do this” or “I am not good enough”, try to recognize that it’s a negative and unproductive thought. After you’ve identified the negative thought, be mindful and replace it with a positive thought or compliment like “This is going to be challenging but I can do it.” It’s incredibly important to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion.
Understand the emotions
Oftentimes, feelings of anxiousness, stress, worthlessness, and anger are behind self-sabotaging behaviors. Events can trigger these emotions, which can then lead to an action that will hinder your success within your personal and professional life. Learning how to manage these emotions can stop your inner saboteur in its tracks. Chatting with people in your support circle or meeting with a therapist can help you make sense of these emotions.
Learn self-supporting behaviors
This will take some serious effort, but once you’ve gotten the hang of supporting yourself, your self-esteem will sky rocket. Instead of being unnecessarily hard on yourself, think about what you could tell yourself that is encouraging or positive. Another self-supporting behavior is being mindful of the goals you’ve set for yourself. If they seem too large and daunting, tweak your goals to be smaller and more attainable. Achieving goals you set for yourself, no matter their size, will build confidence.
Forget about being perfect
Striving for perfectionism in any aspect of your life can lead to feelings of self-defeat as it’s impossible to be perfect! Perfectionism can harm your relationships with others, prevent you from excelling in your career, and keep you from completing projects that you’ve wanted to get done. To overcome perfectionism, try to avoid procrastination and remind yourself that mistakes aren’t bad — they are learning opportunities.
You know what they say, “The only constant is change.” Resisting change can keep you from personal and professional growth. While change can feel scary at first, remember that you’ll get used to it with time. Surrounding yourself with a community of people who are supportive and understanding can also help you navigate transitions.
If you’re not taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health, the impacts will trickle into every aspect of your life. Not getting enough sleep, only eating unhealthy foods, and using alcohol as a coping mechanism are all examples of poor self-care. By doing things every day that make you feel relaxed and happy (like meditating or hiking with your pup), you’ll be supporting your overall well-being.
It’s time to take proactive steps toward breaking the cycle of self-sabotage. For self-care tips and other useful resources, join us at The Becoming Truly You Experience in Atlanta in October. https://bty.imlovingme.net/